Cry Me A River
by thissuperficialhypocrisy
Summary: Hide Your Tears In The Rain - Your Secret's Safe With Me... Namora One-Shot. Rated M for Cutting.


**So it was raining walking home. Thought of a quote which I Love, but I dunno if it's been used before... Probably has, but yea :D**

**NO, THIS IS NOT BASED OFF THE JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE SONG. If you clicked this for it, then run away nao. :v**

**And I can't concentrate on any of my stories! I wrote the main storyline for the next chapters of C&C and GFTP in Maths today! And my new Addiction is Fruits Basket x3**

**Anyway, on with the one-shot!**

* * *

_I tried to hold on, but I was too late.  
I've lost the only chance I'll ever get.  
When he started, It felt like Fate,  
But he ended with words that sounded upset..._

== x ==

I stood like an idiot, mouth agape while my blonde hair was thrown across my face in a mess as it tried to escape from me, wanting to join everyone else who managed to succeed. The pale yellow sundress swayed swiftly along with the wind, almost as if they were creating a tune so beautiful the world wasn't allowed to hear it. I rubbed my arm in a circular motion, attempting to keep myself warm while the white cardigan I sported covered the scars I was frequently hiding lately. The air was thick with atmosphere as the storm clouds began to roll in, filled to the brim with all the emotions raging war inside me.

He was still looking at me as I hung my head down, a vicious tomato red seeping through the surface of my pale, translucent skin and painting itself onto me. My mouth kept on opening and closing repeatedly as I twirled my fingers through one another, the usual anxious feeling I used to get when he was around coursing through my veins. I could feel his stare processing my actions, irritating every part of me to the extent where I had to turn and walk away.

"Naminé!" I heard him call as he began to sprint his way towards me. I kept on walking, not wishing to see his face as I heard his voice begin to plead words which I didn't want to hear. He grabbed my arm lightly, which still hurt a little bit, and spun me around, leaving me breathless as his eyes glistened with happiness and worry. As I began to look down, he tilted my head up lightly by putting his finger under my chin, his touch sending chaotic shivers all over. I could feel myself wanting to repeat what he said as it waited patiently to be set free in the back of my throat, but something inside me wasn't allowing me too. Almost as if it wanted me to hold back...

I was broken out of my thoughts by a soft cough coming from the person in front of me. I couldn't look into his eyes, fearing that he would see how worried my actions would be.

"Naminé..." he started slowly, rubbing his thumb under my eye which was the shade of a coal-black colour. He frowned, shifting his head to the side as a confused look came across his face. I looked away again, my face now turning a greyish shade as a queasy feeling churned in my stomach. I needed to say what I wanted to before he started asking questions, but there was something about this that didn't feel right...

He removed his hand from my face and shoved the pair into his jean pockets. He began to close his eyes, muttering things under his breath which balancing on the balls of his feet. I pursed my lips, the feeling of what I needed to say becoming stronger.

"Sora..." I started with a voice that sounded dry, making him open his eyes and remain still as I felt his eyes probing me. I gave a small wince, still looking at my feet as they automatically joined together at the tips. Acting like a child, I held my own hand again before looking into the ocean orbs that was judging me from the outside in.

"Sora, I- I lo..." It was too hard to say, and I knew it. Even thinking about saying it to someone I knew everything about felt wrong. It was almost as if I could get close to everyone around me, but they couldn't know anything about me.

I could hear him sigh, and as I looked up his head was shifting from side to side in a robotic movement. He chuckled sarcastically, casting me a smile like glaciers before spinning around to face the oncoming traffic that was driving at a steady pace.

I pursed my lips, a worried expression etched onto my face as I watched the amusement he got from watching the cars drive-by. I jumped when I heard him speak, clutching my hand to where my heart was beating erratically.

"I wonder what would happen if I ran into the middle of that road?"

I gasped, thoughts whirring around my head. How could he think like this? Is it because of me? I knew I was the blame, of course. It was obvious. I felt my eyes tear up as I realised that I should have spat out what I wanted to say for the past few years.

I saw him lean his head to the side to glance at my reflection, smiling sadly before staring at the distant sun being plagued by a raging storm. "Don't worry, I won't do that."

I gave a small laugh, thankful that he was joking, yet I couldn't help but notice the sadness being portrayed on this angel before me, back remaining turned to me. I stepped forward, hand a little outstretched towards him, but he grabbed my arm and pulled up the sleeve of my cardigan automatically.

His eyes hardened, lips becoming a tight line on his face as he stared at the deep gashes that ran up to my elbow. Wincing as his grip tightened, I attempted to throw him off, failing as his hand clenched uncomfortably and I watched as his mouth began to mouth something along the lines of "I knew it".

"LET GO!" I screamed at him, causing the tension to disappear and the pain to suddenly stop. I scrambled back, clutching my arm frantically as I found my back against a brick wall, wet from the humidity hanging in the air. He began to walk forward, ignoring the whimpering and violent shaking vibrating across my whole body. Suddenly, his arms were at either side of my head as he leant down to look me in the eye. Being nervous, I began to chew on my lip and look at the re-opened cuts oozing scarlet down the length of my arm. He began to breathe heavily, waiting for me to look up. I finally gave in, watching as his ocean orbs were swimming in a sea of their own.

"Nami... why?" he choked out desperately, whispering the only words he could think of.

"You don't know... how hard everything has been lately... I'm trying to hold on, but I – I don't think I can for much longer..." I whispered back uncomfortably, trying not to look into his eyes but failing miserably.

"You know, that if you had any problems, you could have come to me – that's what best friends do right?"

That was when I snapped.

"Best Friends? You have used me, toyed with my feelings for years, then tossed me to the side like some rag doll before running off to your _true_ friends – the ones who ruled the school, aren't I right? So let me guess," I continued with my rant, my anger rising steadily while ignoring Sora's denial, "I was standing in your way?" I gave a humourless laugh. "Even though you must have told me hundreds of times, how much I was worth to you, when infact you knew how I am really just the dirt everyone likes to walk over, especially the family that once loved me before they found out – "

"How can you say that?!" He exploded, having enough of the words that were blubbering uncontrollably from my mouth, "You, Naminé Sakura Strife, look like you've been sent here from heaven to guide me along the way. As cheesy as it sounds... well, do you not believe what I told you back there?"

I didn't realise how close his face was until that very moment, just mere inches away from mine. I wanted so much to lean forward, and capture him unaware as an apology... but for some reason I couldn't do it.

"It was for pity." I answered back, my voice as cold as the air surrounding us. I saw his face change emotions in a matter of seconds – disbelief; sadness; despair; anger...

Determination last crossed his face as he continued looking at me.

"Well, if you don't believe me..." his voice was a mixture of confidence and anxiety, "then I'm going to have to show you."

My breathing became laboured as I realised his words – the same words I'd been day-dreaming about endlessly since I had first came across my old friend at a young age; the time where everything was peaceful and carefree.

Snapping out of my memories, I came to realise he was mere millimetres from me. Suddenly, I wanted to get away. I didn't care if it hurt his feelings, I was having a mild panic attack of insecurity and partial despair, all I needed to do was just _get away_ from him.

I roughly pushed him away, watching him light up with shock, before falling onto my knees and a mild groan slipping from my lips. I clutched my head in my hands, closing my eyes in an attempt to be gone from the world. I heard him walk over, making me stand up with my head looking towards the ground. When he stopped walking, I lifted my head up slowly, my face filled with no emotion.

"Go." I said in a dry, bored tone. He looked at me with surprise, not understanding my words.

"I said, Go." I looked directly into his eyes this time, the confusion still waiting to be gone. "When I mean go, I mean never come near me again. Never talk to me – infact, never look at me again." I clenched my fists in a way to try and control my unneeded outburst. "You never needed me in the first place, you're just playing me like you have done to nearly every other girl in our year. I don't even understand why you're here, so just _LEAVE. ME. ALONE_!"

When I screamed those last 3 words, he looked like he was about to cry – whether of happiness or sadness, I would never know. I watched him walk over to me, whispering a last sweet nothing before turning away from me and disappearing from sight.

I stood for a few minutes, concentrating on the ground. Without realising, I saw that I myself had landed on it too. I wanted to be swallowed into the ground for saying such hurtful things, but I knew what had been done could never be reversed.

That's when I felt the first drop, heard the first rumble and witnessed the first crack of light burst into the sky.

How did he know this was going to happen? Either way, I listened to the thudding rhythm as raindrops the size of pebbles slapped against the ground, disintegrating into more drops until there was nothing left to be. Kinda like me.

Somehow, a few drops in front of me were different. Smaller, feeble attempts to replicate the bigger, stronger ones which cause a bigger impact.

How come my life is so similar to the skies when they opened up and drained their life on me?

I then realised that the smaller raindrops were my tears. I felt like I had to cry for everything – since he abandoned me all those years ago, everything's changed. My family was in tatters, and my social skills became nothing more. Everyone knew that, of course. He only came down to me, to tell me that he loved me, in an attempt to humiliate me. I knew that the whole time. But there was something that told me that my natural instincts were wrong.

Ignoring it, I began to cry harder and harder, until it came to the point where I was shivering from the cold while sobs wreaked havoc all around me to where I felt like I needed to never show my face to the world. The rain fell harder, pounding on my back as I felt like I deserved. I looked to the puddle at my left, it partially covered in reddened water from the blood dripping slyly from my self-inflicted wounds. I saw my eyes – zombie like with a red hue as it puffed out from the rest of my features. My hair was a soaking mess, now clinging to my face for support as it had nowhere to go. Biting my lip until it bled, I looked away and sat up, curling my knees towards me and holding them together with my aching arms. I rocked myself backwards and forwards, eyes not looking at what was ahead on this now deserted street. I continued to bite my lip, thinking over the words he last said to me which brought the tears to fall down harder and faster, knowing what he said was completely true in all aspects...

"Cry me a River; hide your tears in the rain. Your Secret's safe with me; we're both in pain." He said – and everything made complete sense.

Yet another thing I managed to screw up for everyone.

== x ==

_Emily will find a better place to fall asleep,  
She belongs to fairy tales that I could never be,  
The future haunts with memories that I could never have,  
But hope is just a stranger wondering how it got too bad..._

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**This took me 3 weeks. I put a lot of detail at the start though! The ending is a bit rushed, but yea. The original quote is "Cry me a River; Hide your tears in the rain – your secret's safe with me" xD**

**Who can guess the last four sentences? From a song... again :3**

**Weeee! Review please :D**

**Kitty  
xzx**


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